I won't lie. Lucy and I struggled for a few weeks there. Our patience for each other was always running thin. The fits and the whining seemed to be constant (by her and me). Every day was feeling long and hard. I'm talking ---cry at nights because I was so frustrated with her and myself; hard. I take most of the blame for our rough patch. I was over- extending myself way too much. Between my photography, two nursing jobs, my full social calendar, trying to keep my house in order and being pregnant. I was feeling like a run-down, crazy, impatient wreck most of the time. Something had to change STAT.
I started by praying my guts out whilst sobbing my guts out to be able to handle things better and be a better mom. *** Poor Todd had no idea how to handle my lovely little break downs and just played with my hair while I prayed and cried*** ( adore him BTW)
Second, I got a few parenting books from the library that actually provided a lot of useful advice. And I also did a lot of research on what is normal and not normal for an (almost) two year old. Turns out Lucy is 100% normal --- I'm the one who is a little cray cray :)
But, most importantly. I slowed myself down. I stopped picking up extra shifts at the hospital and my triage job. I turned down five photography gigs. I decided to forego cooking dinner for a solid week in there. And I just let myself breathe for a moment. I tried really hard to let go of the guilt that was coming from the non-vacuumed floors and every second Lucy was spending on the iPad. I tried to focus on every darling little thing about Lucy, and tried to metiphorically punch myself in the face less. And I am so very happy that things have been dramatically better. 98% improved. Night and day- frown turned upside down- twist and shout-- better.
Yesterday, Lucy and I sat on the porch swing in the sun for literally and hour and a half. She would crawl up and down, and all around me and my belly. She would cuddle on my chest and tell me to "sing." We sang along to "let it go" and "happy" a dozen times. We took dozens of selfies, and went through old videos. It was.perfection. I thanked Heavenly Father for getting us through our rough patch. And thanked him a billion times for my sweet,smart,sorta sassy, but totally perfect baby doll. I love that little girl and the person she is helping me to become.
1 comment:
How did I not comment on this? I thought I did! Thank you for sharing this, it's nice to hear that even superwoman has to take it easy sometimes too! You are incredible even if you weren't a nurse and you weren't a photographer, because that leaves the most important things you do! I think we have to learn this lesson a million times in motherhood... Just let it go and enjoy the present and not worry about everything that doesn't matter! That is when we are really happiest. :) LOVE YOU!!
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