Good.Day.
I HATE running errands by myself, especially grocery shopping. I feel that grocery shopping/cleaning/cooking are all torturous tasks when I have to do them alone. I am always begging todd to just study downstairs while I clean, or to come grocery shopping just because I hate to do it alone so bad. Yesterday was a busy full day of errands like shopping and cleaning and laundry and food making, but I had so much fun all day cause Todd did everything with me, and then we finished the night off by driving to Idaho, signing GLEE at the top of our lungs and playing air guitar to christmas songs. It takes exactly 3 hours to get from my house to moms.GOOD.DAY.
Patience
Todd and I have had a year of lessons in patience, and I still feel like I am in the beginner class. It has been a frustrated anxiety ridden year with many decisions, a lot of waiting, praying, crying, struggling, alot of peaceful times, then times of doubt and worry. I'm exhausted even writing all of those words. And the lesson still continues. This dental school thing is consuming my thoughts. Todd has two interviews this week, and I am having a hard time being calm about them. One of the interviews is at USN, Todd and I will both be crushed if we do not get in there. It is putting so much pressure on him and I. I'm freaking out. It's so out of my control. I know that we will go where we are supposed to when we are supposed to but it sure is going to suck if it isn't to USN next year. I've felt so at peace at times during the last year and I keep trying to remember that. But unfortunately I'm struggling to make tonight a peaceful night. It is a night of worry and fear. I know that even if it might be hard to accept everything will work out how it is supposed to and This.will.end....
Christmas Caroling
I bought stockings for all the patients at work and stuffed them with all sorts of goodies like booties and candy and an orange and someone made pillow cases, and someone else made beanies. I wrapped them each up a puzzle. They turned our perfect and tonight we delivered them to each room and sang christmas carols in their rooms. There were many tears shed by the patients and many thank you's from them. It was a sweet day. Todd only has five more days of finals! He didn't have to take his physics final yesterday. He went to take it and the teacher called out his name and told him to meet him in his office. Todd thought he was in trouble or something. But it turned out he has the high score in the class and the patient says he could get an F on the test and still have an A so he said he didn't have to take it. How cool is that? I'm so proud to be married to such a smart boy. Who knew he was a genius? I scored much bigger with him than I even originally thought.
U.E
Just spent the last hour manually irrigating NS in and out of my patiets bladder trying to get a clot the size of a dime out of his urethra. He is my favorite patient I've had in a long time, which means he probably will be one I will get super attached to and then he pass away. Not one of those who I have developed a really really special bond with have survived through transplant. Anyways we were having a ball in there, I was singing to his clots trying to charm them out of his bladder and he was teasing me that I was literally crazy and kept pretending to call the psych ward. His wife had a baby last week and I was his nurse that day, we spent the whole day wheelchairing up and down to the maternity floor to visit his wife. He got to be there through the labor, he puked through the whole thing and literally looked like a dead person when it was over, but he was there holding her hand. I was standing outside the door when she had the baby, my patient called me in about 3 minutes after she was born. It was really really special. I made their baby a little pink rag quilt, it turned our really cute. I will always remember him and I am praying every hour that God will give him a miracle. It looks grim right now, only time will tell the will of the Lord. I do know that he and his family have forever touched my heart.
Homesick
I don't think I've been this homesick in years. Todd and I have had such a fun Christmas filled day. We went Christmas shopping, and hung out together, then went to the festival of trees tonight. I have been really feeling in the Christmas mood. Tonight we had a half hour drive home from Festival of Trees and we were listening to the christmas station and so many memories just came flooding back. Like all of us together singing in the car on our way to Grandmas in newdale, the constant christmas music on in the house, listening to mom sing as she cleans the house, the permanent fixture of treats always on the cluttered counter, at one point I was even getting nostalgic for the block of cheese Lamar brings... yes it was on of those nights. I thought about putting up the Christmas tree at home, and everyone sleeping in the same room on Christmas eve. I thought of dad going out on christmas day to buy batteries for our toys. I thought about how awesome it was when mom would tell us we could sleep in cause it was a snow day, I thought of the hanging the half eaten by mice christmas decorations all around the house and those bells that used to hang by the old phone, the freaky faceless angel that went above the fireplace, the equally freaky Mr and Mrs Clause decorations for the bathroom. I thought about driving home from basketball games and falling asleep listening to bobcat radio. I thought about when Wyatt and I would make countdown chains out of red and green paper to hang around the house. I thought about wrapping presents in mom and dads bedroom watching that little t.v. I thought about peeking for presents in moms closet, and trying to break into dads office where the big ones were locked. I thought about Rhett and how much I miss him. I thought about Grandma Robison and a lot about Mom. I miss being little. I miss being together. I wish I would have known how much I would miss it.
However, home to me now is wherever Todd is. Right now he is holding me and playing with my hair as I cry and write this post. I'm grateful we have our own Christmas memories... like singing songs and slow dancing as we put up the Christmas tree, and drinking hot chocolate while walking around the neighborhood, and planning out what presents to get people together, and constantly listening to our favorite christmas mixes on itunes, and I love that my very own house can smell like the mall when I make candied almonds, I love how far we have come together since our first christmas. It is now our third one together (fourth if you count while we were dating) and I'm very grateful that I can buy Todd something other than a free netflix trial, and rewrapped wedding presents like in the previous years.
Todd has a hot cup of hot chocolate waiting downstairs, Cobie Callat is on itunes and it is snowing outside... even though I'm homesick I'm glad I have an amazing life and a best friend to spend this season with.
However, home to me now is wherever Todd is. Right now he is holding me and playing with my hair as I cry and write this post. I'm grateful we have our own Christmas memories... like singing songs and slow dancing as we put up the Christmas tree, and drinking hot chocolate while walking around the neighborhood, and planning out what presents to get people together, and constantly listening to our favorite christmas mixes on itunes, and I love that my very own house can smell like the mall when I make candied almonds, I love how far we have come together since our first christmas. It is now our third one together (fourth if you count while we were dating) and I'm very grateful that I can buy Todd something other than a free netflix trial, and rewrapped wedding presents like in the previous years.
Todd has a hot cup of hot chocolate waiting downstairs, Cobie Callat is on itunes and it is snowing outside... even though I'm homesick I'm glad I have an amazing life and a best friend to spend this season with.
Mudding, Digging, Four-Wheeling
Ya know what I love most about having little brothers? You can convince them to do just about anything. This weekend we went to my parents cabin in Island Park and went "mudding" or "digging" or whatever you want to call it on the edge of the lake. I convinced Lincoln that it would be fun if he stood in the middle of the lake and we would spray mud/manure water all over him. He laughed and said "ok" This was almost as good as the time we convinced him to run through a nasty smelling stagnant mud puddle with only his whitie tighties on. Love my little brothers.
California.
Our summer in California was quite the adventure. We lived in the bay area. Todd would work monday through thursday and we would play and travel every weekend sleeping in our car and eating canned food. I will never forget our of our little excursions and will always be grateful for the day we broke down and got a GPS to navigate that crazy state. I'm wanting to get back into my blog, but have to catch up just a bit. Sorry for pic overload.
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