Today last year I posted this...

Today last year I posted this...

Dear baby,
           Yesterday we got to see you again. You look SO adorable. You had a teency bladder, and cute little fingers and toes. Your bones and your spine lit up all white and were just the cutest things we’ve ever seen. In one of the pictures you stretched out your legs as long as they could go and pointed your toes. Are you going to be a dancer little one? We’ll see. The rest of your genetic tests came back normal. All 46 chromosomes for you. The down side of the day, was your cystic hygroma was bigger than last time. Not as big as it was when it was huge, but bigger than last time. Your neonatologist said that it was not alarming, and told us to keep our fingers crossed it will be gone by your next ultrasound in a few weeks. She said that if it was gone by then we have cause to be “cautiously optimistic.” So, that is what we are being. In 10 weeks we go to Primary Childrens and their fetal cardiologists will look really closely at your heart. The hygroma tells us that it is likely that there is something wrong and hopefully they will be able to tell us what it is. How lucky are we that there is a top children's hospital right by us, so that if your little heart needs some help, the best of the best will be able to do it. Maybe there won’t be anything wrong and you are fixing it yourself. You must be working hard in there or something, because you are still making me sicker than a dog. I lost another pound, and am struggling to make it back up to my pre-pregnancy weight, but am determined to gain some weight this week. I’m debating eating a container of sour cream, then washing it down with a carton heavy whipping cream for lunch. Nothing sounds good/tastes good or stays in my stomach anyways, so I might as well put something high calorie in there for a minute or two right? Sounds delicious. Wish me luck.  Love,mom.   

This year I am posting this... 
I realize that the video is just black, but that laughter is the best sound I thought I'd never get to hear. My heart is bursting with gratitude. My miracle baby. 

Pumpkin Baby and blogging recommit

So, I'm so busy editing photos of every one else and their cute kids, that my little nuggets photos are unedited and plain. I'm going to post them any ways, even though it kind of gives me an anxiety attack. I AM going to better at journaling (blogging) about this amazing life of ours. I can't believe how much my photography has taken off. I feel so grateful for everyone that has supported me. I've been doing photo shoots almost every day I have off. It's been incredible! But, with the busy months being over I'm looking forward to spending a little more me time during my down time. Mostly, I just want to go back to writing down my favorite moments of the day. Starting today... maybe tomorrow. Today, just enjoy my child as the tooth fairy, and in a pumpkin.

Big News

So... I've been working on something and I'm pretty excited about it. I'm pretty nervous about it too. But, finally I feel ready to take the plunge. Take a look.
http://suzyholmanphotography.blogspot.com/

To remember

Today's highlights: Lucy slept nine and a half hours last night which left me with a huge amount of energy today. I went to a late night dance movie with my dental school girls and Todd and I woke the baby up dancing around learning from a "how to gangnam" tutorial. Also I grocery shopped today, meaning I won't have to do that again for a few weeks.yeah for me, yeah for today.
Sunday was a day I want to repeat over and over again. There wasn't any church due to the Brigham City temple dedication. We cuddled in bed till noon with Lucy then made dinner and headed up to Silver Lake. It was breath-takingly beautiful. We walked around the boardwalk holding hands and taking pictures every nine steps. We passed so many cute little families and we talked about how we can't wait to have a whole crew to take pictures of and to put into our perfect pearl Jeep Commander( our someday car). Right now our future feels as bright as the fall leaves. It feels amazing to be on our way to accomplishing our dreams, and it feels good to be adjusted and content with our new roles as parents. I know there will be bumps in the road and set backs and hard times. But, right now it's easy to pretend there won't be, and I'm okay with that.

To remember

As I got ready to go to work and give a lecture to other nurses about Multiple Myeloma I felt so grateful and proud to be balancing my nursing career with being a mom. This months marks 5 years at the Huntsman Cancer Hospital. I admit that getting out the door for those two shifts a week is tough and I have to talk myself into it every time, but I am happy to have a gratifying job that allows Todd and I some breathing room in our budget.

To remember

 The moment when I went in to get Lucy from her nap I opened the blinds and went to pick her up and she looked up at me with the biggest "I'm happy so see you" grin and giggled. Oh and why yes that is slobber slowly dripping toward my mouth in the top picture.. no big deal

To remember

That my fabulous dental school girls took me out to dessert for my birthday (even thought it was a month late) and we spent two hours laughing, chatting and venting. I drove home with such a big smile on my face and a grateful heart to have such amazing new friends.

To remember

The moment when my patient gave me a hug and said I just love people like you, I tend to favor Leo's.

To remember

That every morning when Todd leaves for school, he wakes me up to give me a kiss and tell me he loves me, and then he kisses Lucy on her forehead then her cheek.

To remember


        The moment when Lucy was being a little Lucifer ish and screaming hysterically and wouldn't go down for her nap even though she was 100% exhausted. Todd and I were taking turns bouncing her and jumping up and down with her and doing anything we could to get her to calm down. We both looked at each other with  exhausted "you've got to be kidding me" eyes and had ourselves a good moment of laughter that this is our life... oh how things have changed.

Lately: by my iPhone

5 months

Lulu-
    Oh how you have stolen our hearts. You are five months old. As I'm typing this you are watching football with your Dad. Every once in a while you stand up on his hands and do your little trick, and every once in a while you look at me over his shoulder and giggle and my heart melts. You love to watch the t.v or the iphone it puts you in this magical no cry trance that we have come to rely on at 5:00 in the morning when you want to be up hanging out. You are 11 pounds 12 ounces. 8th% weight, 25th % for height and that noggin of yours is still growing like a weed (75th%). It's a little out of control but totally adorable. You continue to be a great napper,a good eater and you are quite the little charmer. Ladies are always commenting on how cute you are and 98% of the time you give them that perfect little dimpled grin as a reward for their nice words.  It's the best. I love the bottom two pictures because they epitomize you right now. You always have things in your mouth. Your favorite things to munch on are : my hair, my hands, my shirt, my necklaces, your bird toy, your hands, your fingers and every single thing you can put in that cute little boca. You are still in newborn onesies and size 1 diapers. The craziest thing you do is stand up while holding on to something! We put you up by this foot high box we have and you stand there for 30 seconds holding onto it just happy as a clam. It looks so unnatural for such a tiny little thing to be standing up on her own. Your giggle fits are the favorite parts of my day and I want to say thank you for being such a good hang out buddy when your Dad is at school. You make tests weeks bearable give my days purpose. We love you Luce