“Cautiously Optimistic”

Dear baby,

           Yesterday we got to see you again. You look SO adorable. You had a teency bladder, and cute little fingers and toes. Your bones and your spine lit up all white and were just the cutest things we’ve ever seen. In one of the pictures you stretched out your legs as long as they could go and pointed your toes. Are you going to be a dancer little one? We’ll see. The rest of your genetic tests came back normal. All 46 chromosomes for you. The down side of the day, was your cystic hygroma was bigger than last time. Not as big as it was when it was huge, but bigger than last time. Your neonatologist said that it was not alarming, and told us to keep our fingers crossed it will be gone by your next ultrasound in a few weeks. She said that if it was gone by then we have cause to be “cautiously optimistic.” So, that is what we are being. In 10 weeks we go to Primary Childrens and their fetal cardiologists will look really closely at your heart. The hygroma tells us that it is likely that there is something wrong and hopefully they will be able to tell us what it is. How lucky are we that there is a top children's hospital right by us, so that if your little heart needs some help, the best of the best will be able to do it. Maybe there won’t be anything wrong and you are fixing it yourself. You must be working hard in there or something, because you are still making me sicker than a dog. I lost another pound, and am struggling to make it back up to my pre-pregnancy weight, but am determined to gain some weight this week. I’m debating eating a container of sour cream, then washing it down with a carton heavy whipping cream for lunch. Nothing sounds good/tastes good or stays in my stomach anyways, so I might as well put something high calorie in there for a minute or two right? Sounds delicious. Wish me luck.  Love,mom.