Dear baby,
I feel like I’ve handled everything alright until tonight. We were supposed to hear the results from your test today but didn’t. I sat by the phone sick to my stomach all day. I can’t wait another minute to know if you are most likely going to make it to me or not. If you are going to have severe challenges, or maybe just moderate ones. Tonight I’m having a hard time being calm and brave and okay. I know that Heavenly Father will not give me more than I can handle. But, the part that scares me is how much does he think I can handle? The odds are all stacked against us baby. Stacked high against us…The worrisome part is, I know your dad can handle pretty much anything. I blame him for our current predicament, if I married some lame duck I’m sure I wouldn’t be in this place. Just kidding. That non lame duck is whats getting us through tonight. Tonight, just like other hard nights I’m hoping that he can say a prayer for us, can wipe my tears and sing us primary songs in his sweet off key voice until we fall asleep. These things I know: Us three are in the Lords hands. His will will be done, and it will be what is best for all of us. The comforter will come to us. There is a plan for us, and because of Jesus Christ we will be a family forever. Forever baby no matter what they say tomorrow, love mom.
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